You are a dork James!
by ragsweas
Summary: James Potter has apparently broken up with Lily. Sirius takes it on himself to cheer him and Remus is dragged along. Is that why they are on a cruise ship? Maybe. SO what are they doing in a police station later? Read to find out!


**Hello guys! This is a story written for my Potions assignment. Just a short one-shot. I guess you can say it is a bit Modern AU and maybe No Voldemort AU! It is also inspired by sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S. at places.**

 **The task was to write about someone being reckless and here come James Potter!**

 **Prompts Used:**

 **(setting):cruise ship**

 **(word):declare**

 **(dialog):But I'm so cute. Look how cute I am!**

 **(quote): We need never be ashamed of our tears-Charles Dickens.**

 **(Character): Sirius Black**

 **(Setting):Police Station**

 **(Dialogue): "Some of us have a job." / "Some of us have fun." / And some of us are having a really bad hair day** **."**

 **(Word): Adventure**

 **(Word): Dork**

 **(Quote): "In a room full of art, I'd still stare at you."**

 **Words: 766**

* * *

"Hello bitches!"

Remus and **Sirius** turned to see a grinning James Potter coming towards them in a ridiculous Hawaiian t-shirt and a hat.

"We are canines." Remus said, rolling his eyes. "Not bitches."

"Oh, but you fight like bitches!" James said and burst out laughing. Sirius and Remus shared a knowing look.

"Lily destroyed him didn't she?" Sirius asked and Remus nodded, sipping his drink.

The three friends were on a **cruise ship** -it was Sirius' idea to cheer James up after his break-up with Lily. It worked too well.

Sirius slowly slid away to get himself a drink.

"James, I think you have had enough." Remus said, taking the drink out of his hand.

" **We need never be ashamed of our tears**!" James **declared** and began crying like a baby.

"Why is Prongs crying?" Sirius asked, reappearing and sipping his drink.

"Merlin knows." Remus sighed. "He is quoting Muggle literature, wearing a ridiculous attire and crying."

Sirius thought for a moment and shrugged. "Sounds like everyday to me."

Remus couldn't help but laugh. Sirius popped a grin. Remus turned to James and sighed. "For Merlin's sake James, take off the hat!"

" **But I'm so cute.** " James said, pouting. " **Look how cute I am!"**

Remus looked at James. He was really so cute, but God knew what this man would do under influence of alcohol.

His thoughts were interrupted as he saw James fighting with one of the guys. Yup, this was exactly what James could do under the influence of alcohol.

* * *

The three best friends sat in a **Police station,** trying to understand what happened. Well, Only James Potter and Remus Lupin had that thought. Sirius Black was having so much fun!

"Isn't this exciting?" he said, jumping up and down on the bench. "The three of us, in a police station? SO sad Peter couldn't join us!"

Remus looked at Sirius with a bewildered expression. "We are in a bloody Police station and you think it is fun?!"

"Aww Moony," Sirius said, nudging the other man, "Loosen up a bit! Have some fun!"

"Loosen up? Sirius, **Some of us have a job!"**

" **Some of us have fun!"** Sirius exclaimed.

" **And some of us are having a really bad hair day."** James **declared**.

Remus looked at James and frowned, "HOW IS THAT EVEN RELEVANT?"

James shushed him immediately. "My head, is hurting. Kindly lower your volume!"

"Well, who asked you to drink so much?" Remus scolded. "Peter is out of town, who is going to get us out?"

As if to answer his question, Lily Evans walked in the police station. Flashing one smile in the boys' direction, she walked up to the police officer. Within minutes, papers were signed and the three Marauders were ready to be off.

Lily walked up to the boys and smiled. "How was your **adventure** , boys?"

"L-Lily." James managed to say. He then sat up straight and began facing the other way.

Lily frowned and without turning, asked in fake whisper, "What wrong with him?

She turned to find the two with open mouths. "What?"

"Didn't you two…" Sirius said, gesturing towards her and James.

"-Break up?" finished Remus.

Lily's eyes widened. She turned to look at James and suddenly, began laughing. "THAT'S what you think happened? You are a **dork** James!"

"What do you mean!" James shouted. "You are the one who broke up with me!"

Lily sighed. "You have never been in a relationship before, have you? That was a fight James! You don't break up after every fight!"

James' eyes widened as Lily shook her head, no smile on her face.

Sirius turned to Remus and said, "And here we were cheering him up."

"Let's go." Lily commanded. Immediately all the boys stood up. They began to follow her like a lost puppy.

"You are beautiful Lily." James muttered.

Lily didn't pay any heed and opened her car's doors for the men.

" **In a room full of art, I would still stare at you!"**

Lily raised an eyebrow to show that she had heard and then strapped her seatbelt on.

"I swear to Merlin I didn't know it wasn't a breakup!" James shouted. "Will you marry me?"

In matter of seconds, Lily pushed the break of her car, the men all leapt forward and James looked positively scared for his life.

"YOU DON'T PROPOSE TO A GIRL WHILE SHE IS DRIVING JAMES! NOR TO SAY SORRY!"

"Sorry." James mumbled.

Lily shook her head, took a few breaths and started driving again. Sirius was drooling on James' shoulder.

Remus smiled. He had a weird set of friends.

* * *

 **Worthy of a review?**


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